snaiL, Ox and their little ones live in an old house with little/no insulation. So when it's cold outside...it's cold inside.
Little Cat is wearing the following, just to play in the toy room:
diaper
tights
long-sleeved onsie
pants
dress
sweater
fuzzy boots
peaNut is:
naked
in bed
crying about being cold
between the drama and the laundry snaiL REALLY needs the weather to change!
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
So this happened
Tonight I made homemade ricotta. 
Right after the 2nd picture was taken Little Cat grabbed the towel straining out the whey and pulled, dumping everything on the floor, breaking the bowl and ruining the ricotta.
Kids are hard.
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
My Favorite Things...
- Peanut has a bit of a problem with magnitude/units. This morning he told me he deserved 160 gallons of movies for lay down rest time.
- We do baby sign. While nursing recently Little Cat pulled away, pointed at my boob, signed "hot", and then nursed, pulled away again, signed "hot", went back to nursing. Apparently she doesn't approve of the temperature coming out.
- The other day Peanut prefaced a monologue with, "I'm not a doctor, I just know a lot of stuff".
- We do baby sign. While nursing recently Little Cat pulled away, pointed at my boob, signed "hot", and then nursed, pulled away again, signed "hot", went back to nursing. Apparently she doesn't approve of the temperature coming out.
- The other day Peanut prefaced a monologue with, "I'm not a doctor, I just know a lot of stuff".
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Tantrums and Power
I have a four year old who throws tantrums. He screams, refuses to move, and, occasionally, throws things. He no longer hits. And I am left, often in a public place, with the choice between 'making him behave' and 'teaching him to control himself'. Here is why, in spite of the increased difficulty, in spite of the longer resolution time, in spite of the embarrassment and the loud comments from observers, and having to block those not content to be merely observers, I am choosing to teach rather than to make.
When I was 15 my mother tried to strangle me. In her words, "I didn't know how else to make you shut up". And the truth of the matter is she didn't have another way to shut me up. In fact, in that instance I shoved her off me and left the house and that was the last time she tried to physically enforce her will on my person- because in that scenario I had finally reached a point where my power was equal to hers. She had spent her entire parenthood 'making me behave' and she no longer had the ability to do so. That is the problem with 'making someone behave'- unless you succeed in completely removing their desire to oppose you (and I hope that causes you to shudder when pertaining to another human consciousness) there will come a day when you no longer have the power to 'make' them do anything.
Could I, even without hitting, physically remove my 35 lb 4-year-old from every tantrum situation and force him to calm down? Of course, and I sometimes do when safety for himself or others is a factor. But each time I do I take away his opportunity to come down from the edge of irrationality and overwhelming emotion and control himself. And that is the life skill I want him to achieve. Even if it takes several more years. Even if it tries the very bounds of my patience (hey maybe I'll learn it too) and my husband's patience, even if it makes me look weak to those observing because they see it as coddling or spoiling him, even if we as a family have to avoid situations and places that don't allow us the time to work through this slow process. Because my husband and I have agreed on the endgame we want and the process to get there. And so our question must constantly be, "Am I applying my current superior power to force obedience or am I encouraging self-mastery and personal restraint?". Or in other words, am I:
Making him behave or Teaching him to control himself?
When I was 15 my mother tried to strangle me. In her words, "I didn't know how else to make you shut up". And the truth of the matter is she didn't have another way to shut me up. In fact, in that instance I shoved her off me and left the house and that was the last time she tried to physically enforce her will on my person- because in that scenario I had finally reached a point where my power was equal to hers. She had spent her entire parenthood 'making me behave' and she no longer had the ability to do so. That is the problem with 'making someone behave'- unless you succeed in completely removing their desire to oppose you (and I hope that causes you to shudder when pertaining to another human consciousness) there will come a day when you no longer have the power to 'make' them do anything.
Could I, even without hitting, physically remove my 35 lb 4-year-old from every tantrum situation and force him to calm down? Of course, and I sometimes do when safety for himself or others is a factor. But each time I do I take away his opportunity to come down from the edge of irrationality and overwhelming emotion and control himself. And that is the life skill I want him to achieve. Even if it takes several more years. Even if it tries the very bounds of my patience (hey maybe I'll learn it too) and my husband's patience, even if it makes me look weak to those observing because they see it as coddling or spoiling him, even if we as a family have to avoid situations and places that don't allow us the time to work through this slow process. Because my husband and I have agreed on the endgame we want and the process to get there. And so our question must constantly be, "Am I applying my current superior power to force obedience or am I encouraging self-mastery and personal restraint?". Or in other words, am I:
Making him behave or Teaching him to control himself?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)