Can you read this post?

Kristen told me she can't see my posts since I changed my format. You should be able to see white writing over top of a picture of wood with a real snowflake on the RHS. Let me know in the comments if you can't so I know I need to fix it.

How We Almost Died!!! written by Nate

On Saturday we finally got a plumber to show up to replace our old busted concrete sewer line. It was old and broken and full of tree roots. We have been trying to get a plumber to come out and fix it since we moved into the house back in 2006. We could not even get a Perry plumber to answer our calls or call back when we left a message.

Finally I got the number for a plumber in Stillwater. I called him and he came out the next day to check out our problem. He gave us a quote and said he would start in two weeks. Then he disappeared also. It was a month later before I could get a hold of him again. He apologized profusely and said he had a death in the family. His sister had lost the battle with her cancer. I promptly forgave him for disappearing and looked forward to his arrival at my house. The appointed day arrived and he did not. We waited most of the day for him and he finally showed up at 3pm. And asked if he could leave his back hoe there and come back in the morning. He know he could not finish the job before it got dark and did not want the liability of an open trench over night.

He and his son showed up at 8:45 on Saturday and got to work. We would come out and chat with him every now and then. It was a beautiful day and I got to be the guy that stood around and watched another person work. It was great. Well things were going along swimmingly, the old pipe came out and the new one went in. He started snaking out the remaining pieces towards the house and got it unclogged. And boy was it ever clogged.

Then he tried snaking towards the sewer main. This where the problems started. His snake was hitting a block that it could not get past. So he dug a little more and found another section of the old pipe that was broken.

But in this section of digging he exposed a section of the gas line that was marked as being over 18 inches away. He tried to be very careful but with the gas line being a one inch plastic line and having 50 PSI on it just a bump from the back side of his scoop was enough to cut the line. As soon as the gas started shooting out he turned off his tractor and dove into the trench to pinch off the line. He yelled over to his son to bring the duct tape and pipe clamps from the truck.

His son brought them over and then tried to light up his cigarette. Boy howdy did the plumber lay into his boy. He helped him realized that lighting anything would not be a good idea right then.

Well he got the leak stopped and the pipe fixed. We called the gas company and they sent out two guy to patch the line. But our poor plumber will have to pay the bill to have it fixed. Because of the ridiculously wide window that the state law has said will pass for a locate of an underground pipe or line.

When the Call Okie person comes and locates there is a 4 foot window that the like could be in. 2 feet to either side of the line they mark. That is just like saying “Yup, there is something buried there but I ain’t gunna tell ya where or how deep. Good luck. And if you do hit it I will charge you $500 to fix it for you.”

I work for Charles Machine Work Inc. IN the Subsite Electronics department, we make equipment that will locate a buried cable of pipe with in an 8 inch window. That is just 4 inches to either side of the line. But the Call Okie people won’t use our equipment because it would make them more liable. They are comfortable with their ability to not take responsibility for the crappy locate because the “law” says they are in spec.

That just means that the poor plumber that cut our gas line is stuck, which is the first gas line in 10years he has cut, with a repair bill that was bigger than what he charge me to replace my sewer line. So if you need a plumber in the Stillwater area call me and I will give you his number. He has my vote.

Nate Wanted to Play Too...

WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother's & father's middle names)
Bennion Elroy

NASCAR NAME: (first name of your mother's dad, father's dad )
Owen Arthur

STAR WARS NAME: (the first 2 letters of your last name, first 4 letters of your first name)
Minath

DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color, fav animal)
Orange Ox

SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you live)
Halverson Perry

SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav alcoholic drink, add "THE" to the beginning)
The Black Soda

FLY NAME: (first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name)
Nael

GANGSTA NAME: (fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie):
Chocolate Cowboy Cookie

ROCK STAR NAME: (current pet's name, current street name)
Hoss 11th

PORN NAME: (1st pet, street you grew up on)
Cali 6^th

You're so beautiful you could be a part-time model

So this is another Flight of the Conchords song. Apparently the only one Hilly's ever heard (obviously because she's lame and doesn't read my blog). She said boys at her school used to play the guitar and sing this. I'm sure they were covered in girls...

Flight of the Conchords - You're So Beautiful

Stolen from Amanda...

WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother's & father's middle names)
Michele Shawn

NASCAR NAME: (first name of your mother's dad, father's dad )
John David

STAR WARS NAME: (the first 2 letters of your last name, first 4 letters of your first name)
Mibran

DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color, fav animal)
Green Big Cat

SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you live)
Cathryn Perry

SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav alcoholic drink, add "THE" to the beginning)
The Pink Virgin

FLY NAME: (first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name)
Brel

GANGSTA NAME: (fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie):
Chocolate Malted Crunch Chocolate Chip

ROCK STAR NAME: (current pet's name, current street name)
Jesse 11th

PORN NAME: (1st pet, street you grew up on)
Mama Filkins

You can find Amanda's here.

Presents & California!!!

Ok so Nate and I each just got the other one big present this year. And because we were so excited about the presents (and since we're not really decorating this year or getting a tree because we're going to be in California) we just opened them as soon as they came in the mail.

Here's what I got Nate:


You see he's the Scout Master and 2nd Counselor in the YM's Presidency. That means he goes on camp outs A LOT (yes it does make me sad and lonely which longer married people have told me will fade significantly in coming years). And, well, we didn't have a tent. We got some nice big cots to sleep on but the tent we bought off his folks was too small to fit them. Also, since Nate is freakishly tall he always has to bend over in a tent so I found one 7 feet high. Way fun! PS it has hinge dors. I'm not sure exactly how that workd but it sounds cool.

And now for what you've all been waiting for...


I know...She's beautiful! I've wanted one of these for quite a while and was hoping to get one for my wedding but that didn't work out. So my super great husband got her for me.


Come on, you know you think she's sexy. Don't be fooled by her sleek silouette and coy glances- she's a work horse. Margarite (yes I named my mixer! why do you think that's weird?) can out preform anyone around. Look at these stats:


Yea, she's a professional. 14 cups flour power!!! 8 loaves of bread at a time, 8 lbs of mashed potatoes or 13 dozen cookies! She's no wimpy artisan mixer. This girl elludes confidence and power. I can attach grinders, pasta rollers, ice cream makes shredders etc.


I used her Sunday night to make two batchers of pumpkin chocolate chip bread and she wasn't even winded. She laughed at my tiny job. I love her.

Other than Nate and my presents we're doing really well on the Christmas list front. I have one order to place with a specific place and we're done. I'm looking forward to getting it all wrapped up and distributed. Yea Christmas!

Thanksgiving!!!

Well it was great. The highlight for me being this:


Or actually ME holding Josephine quite a bit, but I didn't get any pictures of that.


By the way, I didn't have to wear a mask- just Nate and the other people who had sniffles or coughs etc. It was wonderful. In case you haven't heard much about Josephine here's her mom's blog.


She is precious. One of my favorite parts was actually when they would wrap her up and then place her somewhere like a plant. I don't know why it cracked me up so much but it did.

We also played with James quite a bit. He's one of the best-natured kids ever (except his late night Dr. Jekyll moments but we won't mention those).


Here was another fun part...


Yes Nate deep-fried a turkey! I know it sounds so red-neck but it's one of those things everyone tells you they're going to do but then they chicken out or their wife won't let them or you change areas on your mission etc. I was way excited and it was much easier then I feared AND we didn't burn anything down or injure anyone. Way fun!!! PS It turned out really good and not greasy like I imagined. YUM!


And of course after the huge meal everyone was pretty worn out - especially Uncle Sam apparently...

Josephine

Go here and buy something.

I'm not embarassed...

It's true. I really like Twilight. I loved the books, I like the teenage girl focused movie. I like the soundtrack. Overall it's all (as my sister-in-law Josie said) Mormon Porn. There's something very compelling in the story although it's not really a stretch from the average romance. It's just good. It speaks to you. I'll wait to write about Stephanie Meyer until I've read The Host so I know if I like her style no matter what the genre but I'd recommend the books and movie to anyone. I loved the characters in the movie, especially all the minor ones. The background people were way fun in the movie.

So...what are you waiting for??? Go read them or see the movie. Don't take it all too seriously. Just have fun.

And to get you in the mood here's my favorite song from the soundtrack:

Iron & Wine - Flightless Bird, American Mouth

Dreams

I just want to preface this post by letting you know I decided to write about it at 4 this morning. I don't know why- it just was really important to me. I even woke Nate up and told him to remember 3 things. You'll see them below...

So I have a history of crazy dreams. I mean crazy. So crazy that when I tell them to Nate he is always amazed the craziness isn't oozing out of me like butter from my pores. Last night I dreamed about the following 3 things:

1. Baby Madi

2. Socks

and

3. Tacos from Jack in the Box (yes I do believe they deep fry these after they make them...sinful!!!)


I dreamed I was holding baby Madi (daughter of Rachel). She was so cute and snuggly. I think this the universe saying I should try to see her on my trip back form Cali to OK. Rachel we must talk!

Then, as if it was perfectly normal Rachel gave me back my socks she had borrowed, acting very ashamed she had kept them so long. This is where the dream got a little weird. Don't worry Rachel, I don't think you have any of my socks. I'm sorry my subconscious is trying to blame you for my cold feet. This also doesn't make the above with Madi any less important.

Then for no reason at all I woke up craving Jack in the Box Tacos. I don't think they were in my dream at all but seriously they're all I wanted. Why do cute babies and socks make me crave tacos, and not just tacos, the greasiest tacos in the entire world??? I just don't know.

Here is another example of my crazy dreaming:

I really did just draw those cards.

If we are close enough friends for you to call me and wonder what the holy I am talking about (and you haven't already heard this dream) call me. I'll be happy to explain the dream in as much detail as I think you personally can handle. Don't be offended, even Nate didn't get the whole thing but that because he looked really creeped out (we were pretty recently married). Just imagine waking up with the feel of frog skin on your hands...

Flight of the Conchords

Ok so our friend Loren (husband of Okie Dean) showed us "If That's What You're Into". I thought it was hilarious. Well little did I know it was a clip from an HBO show about two guys from New Zealand who are trying to make it as a band in New York. So Nate and I Netflixed the series. So blasted funny!!!! So here are a few of my favorites:

*Slightly Questionable*

The song NOT to write to the new girl you're dating...

Flight of the Conchords - If You're Into It


Oh the romance of the long term/marriage relationship...

Flight of the Conchords - Business Time


Here's where Germaine (sp?) is trying to cheer up Bret by giving him complements and writing him a song...

Flight of the Conchords - Bret You Got it Going On


I ask you, "Why can't a heterosexual guy tell a heterosexual guy that he thinks that his booty is fly?".

For more funny songs, either rent the series or look them up on YouTube. These were my favorites that didn't seem to questionable.

2 Things About Me

Ok so before I share 2 slightly random things I wanted to tell you about my new obsession: http://thepioneerwoman.com/. I found her through looking for recipes and I read her 'love story' and now I love her. She cracks me up. So if you get a chance look her up. Way Funny!!!

Anyway so it's partly because of her that I'm writing this. My blog writing has started to bore me and I was wondering to myself why I love reading PW's blog so much if I find writing mine so boring. One thing I noticed was that she had memories posted intermixed with her daily activities. It gives you a feeling of knowing her better than you do and everyone enjoys laughing at embarrassing moments freely shared. So here you go...two things about me:

1. I love inclement weather
2. I have the bladder control of a 90 year old pregnant woman

Last week at scouts there was a huge storm blowing in (the other ward even canceled their scouts but we're way more hardcore than that). It started out with beautiful clouds, then heavy rain and eventually hail. Before scouts started I got several pictures (please don't judge me on picture quality, tons of people I know are better photographers and it is a goal of mine but I'm still far far away).

The boys got scared at several points but I loved it! It was so beautiful and just made me want to get some hot cocoa and sit with a blanket watching the fun. Now since there's not much else to say about a big storm, other than it's cool and no one got hurt, I'll share a story about my bladder interspersed with my storm pics. If you draw any parallels they are only in your gutter-minded brain; I would never think like that.

So here we go...I have almost no bladder control. I go from 0 to 'going to pee my pants' in the blink of an eye. Here are instances in which I might (and have)wet myself:

- laughing
- sneezing
- walking too fast
- getting nervous
- laughing
- trying to get a little more work done and waiting too long
- driving
- cuddling
- sleeping
- playing
- laughing
- listening to water
- swimming in the ocean (come on you know you've done it too)
- thinking I can hold it and then breathing...at all
- laughing
etc.

I have many childhood memories of my family holding me down and tickling me until I screamed, "I'm gonna pee!!!". They would then let me go but it was usually too late. This was not reserved to childhood, by the way, the same thing happened days after I got off my mission when I was 23.

I once peed on Nate when we were engaged. He was playing "How do the Ladies/Gentlemen/Hunters/Farmers Ride?". I was on his knee and laughing like crazy. All of a sudden I felt it. The tiny release of bladder control. I thought, "that didn't feel like much, maybe he didn't notice". I got up and there was a wet spot on his knee. I almost broke off the engagement right then and there.

One plus to this problem is that I can pee anywhere when I need to- the side of the road, gas station bathrooms, truck stops, the woods, our backyard etc. I can even pee into a fast food cup while on the freeway driving a stickshift. It's true. It happened as recently as last week.

I have peed at friends houses, in their beds, on them, in guest bedrooms. In their cars, on their couches, at their kitchen tables. My life is covered in urine.

But the main story I want to share is of when I was 15. I was taking the lecture class part of drivers ed. In our area you took a 3 day, 5 hours each, class one week and then you could take your written exam to get your permit. I took this class with 3 of my friends: Kim, Kelee, and Rebecca. There was a 15 min break in the middle where you could walk outside, get a drink or snack, and use the restroom.

During that break we were standing outside talking and I decided to use the restroom. The thing is I didn't have to go (I have learned that doesn't really matter and pretty much go whenever a restroom is available) and the line was really long. Plus I was having a good time and didn't want to miss any funny stories my friends were telling so I decided I would be fine and just stayed with my friends. Not 5 minutes later, while laughing hysterically, I felt the release of my control over my bladder. Often there is still hope after this point. I can give my bladder and area muscles a stern talking to and end up with some dampness that no one but me will ever know about. This wasn't one of those times. I tried to stop. I tried to even be discreet but there is no way to keep your friends from notices pee running down your leg and making a puddle at your feet. They all stared with amazement at me standing there wetting myself. There was silence. Now some of you might be asking why I didn't run to the bathroom at the first sign of trouble. #1- It was occupied, #2- I would have had to run by and entire crowd of teenagers who would then ALL have known my problem, #3- once you start moving there's nothing to stop the flood of liquid, meaning it wouldn't have made a difference.

At this point the smart thing would have been to call my parents to pick me up and go home, hoping to still have people who would talk to me on Monday. However, this was before every high school student had a cell phone so I would have had to talk to the instructor about my drenched lower half and, more importantly, I would have had to retake the class. In a 3 day class absence is not tolerated. They probably would have let me attend with a different class another week but at that moment it all seemed impossible.

So what did I do??? Rebecca loaned me a sweatshirt for my backside and Kelee loaned me one for my front side. We walked back into class with them guarding me all around and I sat for another 2 hours covered in urine. I spent most of it wondering how to give back a sweater to a friend they know has been soaked in your urine.

So there it is. One of many stories of my pride level being brought down exponentially by losing control of my bladder. And some storm pictures to keep you from getting too uncomfortable, I hope. If none of you speak to me the next time you see me or you stop reading my blog I won't blame you. And if my sister-in-laws fight over who gets to sleep in the other bed at our sleepover tonight I won't blame them. I wouldn't want to sleep with a bed-wetter either.

For Hilly

So many pointless things to say...

Ok so honestly I didn't realize it had been so long since I posted. I meant to post on Friday but...Well we'll get to that later. I have tons of totally random things to tell you. I guess I'll start with this weekend and move backwards:

Let me begin my tale of Friday's craziness by listing several facts:

1. Twice last week I left my interior light on in my car all day while I was at work. I have a really good battery so it's started fine afterward but...

2. Thursday night I remembered I needed to charge my cell phone but was too lazy to get out of bed to plug it in

3. My back has been hurting on and off all week, progressively getting worse

So here goes...

Friday my boss (really now, not just co-worker since she got promoted - yea her!!!), Chris, left at noon. The new girl, Sharon, was working on her own stuff and I was getting through back logged stuff since we were pretty slow. Nate and I had plans to have dinner and do the walk around (more on this later) with Carlin and Aubrey and Baby Sam.

I decide to call Aubrey to set an exact time for us to come over and realize my phone is completely dead (It won't even turn on). I ask Nate to call her but he doesn't have her number. So Aubrey has no idea what time we're coming over.

My back starts to really hurt. It begins by hurting when I stand. Then progresses to slight discomfort even when I sit and finally arrives at severe pain no matter what position I'm in (I'm assuming I've had something misaligned all week and that's causing pain which is causing my muscle to tighten, further pulling my back out of alignment). By 2 o'clock I can barely move and NO position is comfortable. I've already taken some aspirin and it didn't help at all and I have no other drugs. I decide something must be done, especially since we have plans for that evening and I can't even call Aubrey to cancel on her and I don't remember her exact apt number to stop by.

So I talk to my next boss up and convince her I need to leave and the poor new girl can probably handle both Chris' phone and my phone. I drive to Walgreen's, buy Tylenol, back heat pads, water and a smutty novel. I move my car to the shade, put the heat pads on, take a couple Tylenol, read for a few minutes and then fall asleep in my car.

I awake a few minutes after 5 and go back and forth between revelry that I can move without screaming pain and severe fuzziness probably cause by mixing drugs. It takes me several minutes to start thinking. I decide I can drive and try to turn on my car. It doesn't start. I try again. It still doesn't start. At this point I honestly can't make the points connect in my head and am very confused by everything. I finally realize I left my headlights on while I slept. My battery is dead.

I have a dead battery, no cell phone, a slight back ache and the mental capacity of a yam. It honestly took me 10 minutes to think of what to do. Finally I stalk some girl in the parking lot and ask to use her cell phone. I call Nate but he doesn't answer. I have no choice but to leave him instructions for picking me at Walgreen's and hope he checks his voice mail. The girl looks slightly scare of me. I go back to my car to read.

Nate shows up a little after 6 and picks me up. We go to Carlin & Aubrey's, have great chili, play with baby Sam and do the walk around. Everything goes well. Afterward we go back to Walgreen's to get my car and without jumping it, it starts right away. Seriously.

So walk-around. If you're not from the Stillwater area you probably don't know what this is so I will explain. For homecoming all the Frats and sororities team up and do huge displays in front of their houses. Then everyone in town 'walks around' to look at them. It's actually pretty fun. There's plenty of fair food if you don't mind $8 hot dogs and it's overall a pretty enjoyable experience. Both Aubrey and I forgot our cameras so the above picture is all we got. PS Afterward we went to Marble Slab to get ice cream and they were out of my favorite flavor, Sweet Cream. I know! After my hard day they hadn't even saved me some sweet cream. Tragic.

***Found more pics from Homecoming on my camera taken by...oh you know.***


Let's skip around from here...

Wednesday I had Cub Scouts. I'm having my boys work on getting their World Conservation Award this year. A couple weeks ago we went to the OSU Botanical Garden and this past Wednesday we made terrariums out of soda bottles. It went great. The boys are really doing so well on listening and working hard on things. Here's a pic of them after they got to mix the soil up. I think they had fun. :)

Thursday...back to Homecoming. I need to mention that offices all over campus compete in a decoration contest. Last year we (the Registrar's Office) won and we wanted to win again so we possibly went over board.

Yes we won again! We're that amazing. PS Pete's hand strummed the guitar and there were loops of Who songs playing in the background and a slide show going on. Seriously awesome. PS Yes I am groping Pete.

Thursday night we had a Relief Society activity where everyone made a favorite soup and brought it and the recipe. We all tried the different kinds and chatted. Way nice. I brought Harvest Bisque. Nate actually made it since I was so busy Wed night. Here's the recipe:

Harvest Bisque

1 – 1 lb butternut squash

5 cups chicken broth

4 Tbsp butter

4 Tbsp flour

1 tsp curry powder

¾ cup half and half

1 Tbsp lime juice

Salt and pepper to taste

Peel, seed and cut squash into ½ inch cubes. Place in 4 qt pot with chicken broth. Cook over med heat for about 15 minutes. Using a slotted spoon put the squash in a food processor or blender and blend until smooth. Stir in broth to squash puree and put aside. In the same pot, melt butter stir in the flour and curry. Stir over medium heat until smooth. Add pureed squash back to pot. Increase heat to med-high and stir until soup thickens. Reduce heat and add half and half. Do not allow soup to boil after this point. Add lime juice, salt and pepper. Garnish with lime.

So Good!!!

Saturday we went to the OSU/Baylor game. I sign the National Anthem (Wendy does now too) and Nate does the Player Guest List. It's really fun and after half time we can just go watch the game. OSU won again. That makes us 7 and 0. Whoo hoo!!!

Then we went to the Deans to play games. Ahhh wasting time in the funnest way possible (ok there are others but this was pretty fun).

There were other little things this week but I think we've covered enough. Overall a great, but busy, week.