Post 100!

Interesting that as I decided to post this video I'd seen I realized this was my 100th post. I don't talk about my religion much here. Mostly because most of you know I'm LDS and either are yourselves or you aren't but we've talked about religion and Mormonism specifically.

That aside, I have been thinking about posting about my beliefs and experiences as a member of the LDS church for a while now and this video encouraged me to do so.

First off, I want it to be clear my beliefs are very central to my daily attitudes and actions. I think that's important. I believe the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to be true and so try to live my life by its precepts. This means things like going to church even when I'm tired, having prepared for and then going on a mission, living worthily and holding out to be married in the temple.

These things are important to me and while I will willingly discuss these things with anyone who seems in any way truly interested I also will not allow myself to be drawn into arguing or debating. I learned this best on my mission. I love to shared what I believe with people but if there isn't a spirit of understanding and tolerance it's not worth my time or heartache because NO ONE is learning or growing.

On my mission there were people who yelled horrible things at me or threatened me or tried to argue with me. There were people who were downright mean to me. Having said this, I really have been very lucky in the friends and even acquaintances I've had. I have rarely felt (outside my mission) what I would consider real persecution. In fact I can only name two instances I really felt persecuted. Strangely both these involved or were in some way 'caused by' very close/best friends. I don't blame them. They were each just trying to live their lives the best they could and I had an experience as a result of that that to me was negative. It's also important to note that had either of these experiences happened later in my life I would have handled them much differently, probably with a lot more laughter and calmness.

One happened in high school. In the LDS church we are strongly encouraged to not date at all until we're 16, and then to keep it to group dates for a while. My friend had just started dating a boy from school before she was 16. This was completely her choice and honestly not a huge deal. The problem came when a mutual friend of ours asked me out. I also was not 16 yet. I didn't want to date before I was 16 and the boy in question wasn't too much of a temptation to me so I politely declined. It was awkward but not horrible.

The issue came when he asked me (a little pathetically in my opinion) why. I told him in my church we're asked not to date until we're 16 and I wasn't 16. At this point my friend was pulled out as an example. He tried to make me say either A. she was a bad member or B. I was being ridiculous. I tried to avoid both. I just said whatever her decisions were I wasn't going to date until I was 16. This should have been the end of it. But for some reason he felt the way to win my heart was pressure and guilt.

He encouraged all of our other mutual friends to 'talk' to me about it. This resulted in almost every person in the group I was hanging out with my freshman year in high school pretty much telling me I was being selfish/stupid/uppity/rude/mean etc. It was literally awful. At one point he knelt in the outdoor quad area in front of me and begged me to 'consider it'. I don't even think he liked me that much. Throughout this whole situation I was reminded by each person that my friend was well-known for being a 'good' Mormon and had been a member all her life while I hadn't. Again I reiterate - I don't blame her. Her choice did affect my life but overall I'm grateful for what happened because it helped me grow. I stopped hanging out with that group regularly and found my own friends, all non-members, who supported me in my decisions.

The second experience came right after my mission.

Let me get this out right from the beginning- newly returned missionaries are pretty crazy. We've been in a place where we had to be totally circumspect in some ways because we're representing the church. On the other hand we can be crazy bold about other things because it's expected of us. This is very different from how you act among friends.

Well, my friend invited me to stay the night with her and some other friends and then go to Six Flags in the morning. I didn't know any of the rest of these people (except maybe one) and so was already a little crazy (remember from the very recently returned mission thing) and shy and just mostly awkward. The thing they decided to do right after I got there was watch the South Park episode about Mormons (please also remember I hadn't watched ANY TV in 18 months). Right this minute I could watch that episode (although I'm not a fan of South Park in general) and laugh and be pretty relaxed explaining what's real and what's not.

That night I could not. My brain couldn't decide if I was supposed to be answering these questions as a missionary or as a friend. Being a missionary seemed awkward and I honestly wasn't friends with most of these people. They asked question after question, trying to be curious not accusatory but to me it felt like I was being attacked. I couldn't seem to find my calm center and I felt miserable for the rest of the trip. Again, I don't blame my friend. She was trying to invite me to have a good time and meet new people and normally none of this would have been a problem.

I have used that experience as a template to allow myself to not get frustrated or overwhelmed. If I don't know an answer now I say "I don't know". If I'm not comfortable answering something I say "I'm not comfortable answering that". If I don't feel comfortable watching something I tell the people I'm with that I'm not comfortable and either they change it or I find something else to do. It's amazing how well the truth works. :)

Anyway, very long story short...here's a video of a young LDS girl at Harvard answering questions about her religion at what appears to be a multi-religion conference. I think she does amazing.


Day of Faith: Personal Quests for a Purpose - 3. Rachel Esplin from Harvard Hillel on Vimeo.