Last night while at church a woman asked me how far along I was. 
I told her that I was just over 20 weeks. 
She looked slightly confused so I clarified that I was around 5 months along. 
She then asked when I was due and proceeded to look confused as if the math wasn't right (1st note- I'm not an idiot I know how far along I am and when I'm due). 
She then made some gesture to my belly and asked if' I "was sure there's only one in there" 
(Note 2- of course I'm sure we've had 2 ultrasounds...oh I get it, you're just telling me you think I'm fatter than I should be- well thanks for the information). 
My mother-in-law made some supportive comment about how I just show more because I'm short waist-ed (Note 3- she's nice). 
I walked away a little taken aback but by the end of the night I was really irritated. 
Why does any person other than my doctor think they have any business talking to me about my weight? 
(Note 4- just so you know I have not gained too much weight. In fact I'm still under what I'm supposed to have gained and my doctor is paying close attention. Only the fact that I made progress this last month kept me from getting the stern talking to at my visit Wednesday that I got the month before).
Later that evening another girl at church who's just about 2 weeks behind me in pregnancy said she was glad I was showing because it made her feel better about the fact she's showing so much. 
Apparently she's getting plenty of well-meaning health comments from people too. 
So ...Dear People Other Than a Pregnant Woman's Current Doctor,
I don't care what your opinion on my weight is. I don't care what your opinion on how much I'm showing is- unless of course, you want to tell me how beautiful I am as I carry another human around on my 5'3" frame. This applies to you whether you are or have been: a mother, a doctor, a nurse, President of the US, an aunt, an uncle, a friend of some girl that got really fat when she was pregnant, a friend of some girl who stayed really skinny when she was pregnant, an avid triathlete, a dietrician, etc. I have a doctor and nurse I pay who weigh me every month and are monitoring my growth. They will let me know if there is a problem. Thank you for your concern but learn to shut your mouth. I assume you are also the same people who will try to tell me, unsolicited, how to raise my children. Just stop now- I am uninterested in what you have to say.
I must now come up with a standard phrase to deal with these comments. I'm thinking something like:
Or
Blog Readers you are welcome to weigh in...
8 comments:
Amen!!! By the way I think you look perfectly normal for 20 weeks (family Web site picture) and I think your belly looks cute...so there.
You do look cute and great. And being that I was pregnant with Samuel in the same ward as you I know ALL the comments you are now getting and will get. All I can say is... I'm sorry and people are dumb.
hey there captain sugar-coat-everything! Why don't you tell us how you really feel? All joking aside, it is ironic that Americans in general keep to themselves when it comes to someone else's weight unless she's pumped with massive amounts of hormones and growing another human being in her body! I know how much you hate it when people treat you like you don't know what you are talking about. Sorry that it happened. I saw your pic on facebook and "you're not fat you're beautiful!" (name that quote) My advice: Pregnorexia... it's in.
too bad people are stupid. I really hate the stupid belly-rubbing people (as well as the advice givers)--like people feel they have the right to come right up to me and start rubbing my stomach even though I have never seen/met them before in my life and hopefully never will. Sheesh, give a pregnant lady a break.
You're looking great--and I love the purple dress that you took pictures in. Where did you get it?
Ha ha- great story- although it had to come at the expense of you getting angry. I keep wondering who it was- I have some guesses. That is something you NEVER say to women. Especially if they aren't even pregnant- which is one good thing in your case :) I love all the pictures.
your only 5 months? Honey you look good for 5 months. hmmm People say things all of the time, in a open mouth insert foot moment. I was always asked "you haven't had that baby yet" Well actually yes I have, I just have a pillow under my dress because I loved being pregnant so much. They mean well, but that is just it, they say it before really thinking about what it is they are saying. Number 1 rule of pregnancy NEVER, EVER MENTION WEIGHT.
Hey, this is Jill, Lucy's friend and one of the Bodice Ladies from the Norman Renfest. I'm due in two weeks and last month in Muskogee, I got some of the strangest comments.
Like when I tell them this is my fifth, they get a scared look in their eyes and back away SLOOOWLY.
I'll admit I was wearing a corset that sort of accentuated the bump, but several people refused to believe my due date or told me I'm having twins whether I know it or not.
Add to the above, the people who say "oh, you're not very big for that far along." Like I'm supposed to fit their idea of what eight months' pregnant looks like.
My personal favorite was the lady who patted my belly and then said "Oh, it's real!" Seriously, did I dress up like an enormously pregnant woman just for FUN?
At least it's worth some laughs.
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