Pregnancy Milestones V

Here we go...
1. Peanut has dropped. To explain what this means I will tell you a short story...

Emily, Nate's sister, once participated in a prank war with some friends. One thing they did was to put a bowling ball, holes down, covered in vaseline, into the boys toilet bowl. Imagine that image in your head.

Now replace the bowling ball with Peanut's head and the toilet bowl with my pelvic girdle. You're welcome for that mental image.

2. Reached the 36 week mark which means full-term. Anytime now Peanut can be born and not be considered a 'premie'. This is a stress relieving milestone for any pregnant woman!
3. Set up the car seat (at least the back up car seat; our real car seat is traveling from Cali with my Dad and Hilly)- they won't let you leave the hospital with the baby without it. (ps name the above movie)

4. Created the following lists:

1. Birth Plan
   
2. People to call when Peanut's born
3. Activities for Family to do while in town (so they don't drive me crazy)
4. Where/When/What to spend gift cards on
   
5. Items to be returned (not what you sent us...your stuff was exactly what we wanted)
6. Things to be done on maternity leave before Peanut comes, in order of importance
7. Dad/Son-in-Law Chores for Nate and my Dad to get done while he's here
8. Meals to make and freeze before Peanut comes

I refuse to hear that I might be getting a little ridiculous. Thankfully, Nate has not suggested this possibility.
5. Have officially taken my last trip farther than an hour from home. I'm hunkering down!

6. Finished all birthing and breastfeeding classes. Took hospital tour.

Remember how in elementary school you had to spend an extra hour on fractions because that one kid didn't get it??? These activities are obviously catering to the lowest common denominator... (ha ha. get it? fractions...lowest common denominator...)
7. Started setting up specific days/times for my sisters to come and help me get stuff done. They have their assignments!

8. Created an ipod "Peanut is Born" birth music playlist that I will probably be in too much pain to listen to.

9. Wore stretchy yoga capris to work twice now. Have lost all sense of dignity.

10. Went to a funeral showing where I was the #2 topic of conversation. Strangers touched my belly after touching a dead man. I was not alarmed.
11. Went to bed 3 out of 4 work nights this week, before 8 pm. Once night I was in bed, asleep by 530.

12. Can no longer fit into restaurant booths where neither the chairs nor table move.

13. Last day of work is today!!!!! Put on my out of office, transferred my phone, refuse to help anyone do any course maintenance or classroom scheduling until Thanksgiving!

Tragically Unfulfilled Milestone - My belly button area has gone flat but refuses to become an outie. I was really wanting this to happen. I remember the first time I saw an outie belly button I thought it was way cool. Pregnancy fail!

Snippets

So most of this post is not going to be about pregnancy stuff but I had to remind you...
Any day now, for sure in less than a month, people are going to let me take a real live baby home to keep at my house. Seriously. You have been warned.

Sexy Story:
Ahhh my inherent sexiness strikes again. Last night I awoke at 4am to an awful ear ache. Ear aches for me almost always mean a small sinus infection- which I'm pretty sure I have. I sat up. This cause the bloody nose I'd apparently had for some time while asleep, to start dripping down my face and the back of my throat. I ran (ok waddled quickly) to the bathroom to get cleaned up. I decided to brush my teeth to get rid of the taste. That irritated my already queasy stomach and I spent the next couple minutes crying and vomiting strawberries into the bathroom sink. Nate woke up to come rub my back.

Sad Story:
While Nate was having furloughs at work he started doing some extra work in a mower shop. This mower shop is owned by one of his best friend's dad. It is also one of the local hangouts for the 'Old Men of Perry'. They would come in small groups to sit around the shop and BS. Nate's jokes and attitudes took a definite old man feel onto them during this time. I teased him about it (he is almost a whole year older than me). He talked with them, ate lunch with them and became friends with them. He was already familiar with most of these men but a definite kinship happened during this time.

This last week one of those older men died. He was only 61 or so and Nate really got along with him. Nate's been asked to be a pallbearer. Although we have no doubts he is happier where he is now, Nate has been very sorry to lose a friend. It feels weird to be grown up enough to have friends dying of 'old age'.

Story in Which I Try to Remember I Actually Like Animals:
This past week we were changing the hinges on a door in our hallway. We had let the dogs into the living room and they were lounging around. Hoss, whose attention span is ridiculously low, came over to see what I was doing. I noticed that his foot was glowing like a little girl's night necklace at Disneyland. I yelled for Nate. We searched the living room to find that Hoss had gotten into the first aid/emergency kit and chewed on the emergency kit glow stick. Luckily these are non-toxic. The above is a picture of our couch cushion (sorry for the bad pic it was really hard to get it to show) with glowy stuff on it. The glowy stuff was also all over Hoss and the living room floor.

Happy Story:
We bought this yellow watermelon for $5 off a guy on the side of the road. He threw in a tiny cantaloupe for free. It weighed 45 lbs and was delicious!

Dear Peanut,

While everyone in the world has been increasingly demanding about when you should descend, in a sticky, cheesy mess, from my uterus, I have been more accommodating. I told you to stay in there until you were ready. Relax. Grow. And when your lungs are working and you're tired of your feet being squished up in between my ribs, lungs and other internal organs, to come out and play with me and your Dad.

I have changed my mind. I am currently still working. I will stop working in less than a week and a half. You will wait until I have had a couple of days of vacation before you come! This morning you were causing me some pain and it took everything in me to continue getting ready for work and drive in. Please stop this. In a week and a half when you cause me pain I can lounge around in my underroos and try to get comfortable. And while I will actually be farther away from the hospital while at home, I will be closer to your father- which is how I want it.

I appreciate that the ultrasound tech didn't see any reason for alarm at the ultrasound yesterday and yet let me know you were just a little small. This is acceptable. It is not acceptable to come before your lungs work and I've had a chance to clean the kitchen floor. I know you don't care but it makes a big difference to me. Should you disobey me be prepared to live out your first several days in the bathroom, since that is the only room I've gotten close to being clean enough. You can sleep in the tub.

Remember, Mommy loves you. Please mind her!

from Not Always Right... III

Look I can't help that they're having so many funny pregnancy ones right now...

Hell Hath No Fury Like A Pregnant Woman Scorned

Candy Store | New Jersey, USA

(A man comes to my register with a mint chocolate candy bar.)

Me: “Anything else?”

Customer: “Can you break a $100 bill?”

Me: “Actually, I can’t. We just opened and I haven’t gone to the bank today.”

Customer: “Oh, no! Do you know anywhere I can get change? I need this candy right away!”

(At this point I notice his panicked look. Coupled with the fact that he’s buying the most unappetizing candy in the store, I jump to a conclusion.)

Me: “Sir, these aren’t for you, are they?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Did your pregnant wife send you out at 8 in the morning to buy this candy?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “For the love of God, man! Get these home to her before you’re in even more trouble! You can come back and pay me later!”

(The customer bolts out the door. He later came back, visibly calmer, and paid.)

(485 Thumbs Up!)

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from Not Always Right... II

10 Little Pints Of Joy

Grocery Store | Florida, USA

(A guy comes into my register with a pretty standard basket of groceries.)

Me: “Sir, did you only get one pint of Ben and Jerry’s?”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “Well, it’s ‘Buy one, Get one free’ this week.”

Customer: “Hold on.” *runs off and returns a minute later with 9 more pints*

Me: “You must really like Ben and Jerry’s, huh?”

Customer: “I have a pregnant wife.”

Weekend Updates

***Update below***

1. Best new game ever: Chore Poker. Like Strip Poker but played for chores.
Before the hand we decide on a chore that needs to be done around the house. We took turns picking chores that could be done by either party (i.e. cleaning out the litter box wouldn't work since I'm not allowed to do it for Peanut safety reasons).

Then we play poker, loser of 2 out of 3 hands has to do the chore. Their name is written by the chore on 4x6 card. They have until the end of the weekend to get it done.
After 10 or so chores we took time to trade. Nate was willing to take 2 chores just to not have to hand mop the bathroom. Marvelous! We got to play a game, our house is cleaner and this was 'The Weekend Without Nagging'!!!

2. Football Madness Weekend or Nate's Best Weekend Ever!
First, Friday night Nate talked me into going to the Perry High Football game. I didn't last the whole time (those seats are honestly too much for a pregnant lady, especially by Friday evening). Yes, we are one of those little towns where the streets roll up for the local high school football game- and we're not even good! However...we won! We beat Blackwell, apparently our fierce rivals, whom we haven't beat since 2000. Nate was oh so happy.
Then Saturday OSU beat Georgia. Nate loves OSU. I work for OSU. They won and Nate got to listen to it on the radio as he did chores. I thought he might cry for joy.

But then, just when you thought things couldn't get any better...
OU lost. OU and OSU are rivals but OU is the rich, hot rival and OSU is that kid you root for even though you're pretty sure they're not going to win. So OU lost and they lost to...BYU! Hello crazy! OU was ranked 3 going into the season, BYU like 20. It was a very close game and now Mormons all over the world are convinced God really does love us best. Just kidding!!! ;) But we are excited because every Mormon on the planet knows every other Mormon so it's like your best friend just dunked on the hot rich guy.
All of this leads to Nate wishing Monday wasn't a holiday so he could get to work to hug and kiss other OSU fans and mock endlessly OU fans and tell everyone his Dad was tempted into watching the BYU game on Sunday (he had Tivo'd it) etc. Much rejoicing was had by all the non-rich non-hot kids. Yea!!!
3. Peanut is trying to escape through the side of my abdomen. Just thought I'd let you know in case I end up in the hospital in an Alien-like incident.

Update:

The Polls!

Fundal Height, Bad Mojo,Tiny Melons and a Washing Machine

What is Fundal Height?
In your 2nd trimester the doctor starts measuring fundal height. Fundal height is the measure from the top of your pubic bone to the top of the uterus. The distance in centimeters should match pretty closely with the number of weeks pregnant you are. i.e. 30 weeks pregnant should have a fundal height of about 30 cm. This number can be +/- about 2 cm and still be considered normal.

At my 34 week checkup I measured right on the dot. At this last check up (36 week) I was still measuring 34 cm. This is still in the normal range but the lack of any change and the fact that I gained no weight in the last 2 weeks resulted in my doctor and I deciding to do an additional ultrasound to make sure everything is still fine. This will take place next Wednesday (Sept 9th).

Again let me remind you (and my subconscious) that we are still in the normal limit. Everything is probably fine. The Mayo Clinic gives the following possible no-stress reasons for a smaller than normal fundal height:

• a tall or thin frame (uh... oh well, not that one)
• well-conditioned abdominal muscles (hahahahahahahah)
• a baby prematurely descending into the pelvis (not sure???)

So I'm letting you all know on the strict promise you will assume, with Nate and I, that Peanut has just taken pity on me (and my hippy-craziness of not using drugs for the birth) and decided to stay small until after he after he rips through my vaginal cavity. Thank you.

Next let me tell you of the bad mojo I have had this last week...
(ps who can name this book???)

I ripped the button off my maternity pants packet, had to remove my underwear in a grocery store bathroom, burned my finger, dropped my potato in cat hair, gave bad mojo to an entire bagel store, got raisin bagels in my baker's dozen (ewww!), got a random cut on my foot that bled like crazy, had to park way far away from my building in a spot I wasn't sure was legal and lost poker to Nate (meaning he got an additional book this month and I didn't!). :(

On a brighter side I have melons! I planted, in the desperate attempt to grow anything in my garden this year, some watermelon and cantaloupe plants way late. They have baby melons on them! Here's a pic of the largest melon:
Isn't it cute! Some more melon plant pics.

farther away cantaloupe
watermelon
Other best news...

We got a new washing machine! The one we had was one we got from a lady at church, who had gotten it from a man at her work. It was old and made a lot of noise (some balancing issue inside) and didn't clean super well. We decided that since we're doing cloth diapers we needed a good machine that actually cleaned. It is beautiful and wonderful and we love it.

Last night we tried out the sanitary option on our dirty rags. They came out so clean and good-smelling! (although it did take 3 hours. holy hannah! not to be used often!)

Plus one outfit of Peanut's had accidentally fallen into that basket without us noticing. It was so fun to fold little Peanut clothes. Made me 'miss' him- and he's sitting on my bladder right now. Yes I'm a sap.

Oh well, as long as this doesn't happen...

Pregnancy and the Introvert

OK so first a quick definition of introvert vs extrovert. This has nothing to do with how friendly a person seems or even how comfortable they are in big gatherings. The easiest way to explain it is like a battery. If at the end of a long hard monotonous week at work you need to 'recharge your batteries' do you need to go out and see people or stay home and be alone? The energy you need to recharge yourself either comes form being alone (introvert) or being with people (extrovert). I am most certainly an introvert.

As an introvert I used to encourage my roommates to go out, help them get ready promise to clean up and then stay home with the door locked and lights out pretending the apartment was empty when I needed to 'recharge'. This doesn't mean I didn't like to go out or I don't like spending time with people. I just need alone time or I melt down.
Now how is this affected by pregnancy? Well on the surface it's only the fact that you have to go more places for a while. This past week we had activities scheduled every night and 3 planned for Saturday. I ended up skipping Thursdays Relief Society event just to recharge at home because I knew if I didn't I wouldn't make it through Saturday.

***Once again let me remind you needing to recharge at home so I can 'handle' these activities has NOTHING to do with whether or not I want to go to them. All of Saturday's events were things I was excited to attend, especially my fabulous baby shower (thanks Nancy, Laura, Amber and Wendy!!!).***

However by Saturday I was really struggling to have the energy to socialize. This confused me a little. I mean, I've made it through way more socializing in way better form in the past but lately it's been really hard. Why is it so hard right now? Is it some weird nesting hormone that makes me never want to leave my house? Even small trips are becoming increasingly hard for me to handle.
Finally I realized what it was. Pregnancy for this introvert, even as much as I love it, has been 8 months and counting of never being alone. I don't think every introvert feels this way. And I don't want anyone to think I don't love pregnancy. In spite of the slightly snarky posts published here, I love being pregnant. There's such a purpose in it. And all body image jokes aside, I almost always love the feeling of being pregnant (exceptions: while vomiting, while wiping urine off the inside of my leg, when I forget how far my tummy extends and ram it into something).

What I'm saying though, is that to me, as much as I love it, pregnancy is a slow leak on my energy battery. It's never quite full because I am never truly alone. Now that I realize this I think I can plan better and I can definitely understand better why I have the current social ability of your average hermit.

And so...please forgive me if I avoid you at the grocery store.

PS A way fun test to see your personality type here. Good definitions of the personality type once you know what it is here. I'm INTJ, Nate's ESFP.

New Least Favorite Pregnancy Question/Comment

(beside "you look HUGE"- thanks A).

Are you excited?

No I'm serious that's the question I've been getting asked 15 times a day lately. (possibly exaggeration)

They look at my belly and the circles under my eyes (a result of getting up to pee 8-9 times a night lately) and ask me,

Are you excited?

No. I am totally unmoved by the very-soon-to-be-coming arrival of my baby Peanut who I already love and get to meet in person for the first time.

No. I am emotionless about the fact that someday soon I will not have to carry this parasite with me everywhere and will occasionally be able to hand him to his father with the words, "take him away" ringing from my lips.

No. I am unaffected by the imminence of the great and dreadful experience I will soon go through called childbirth with all its inherent pain and joy.

No. I am indifferent to the changes that will soon enter my life. This life which now holds only small responsibilities of keeping myself, husband, 4 dogs and 2 cats fed and reasonably healthy and will soon involve the caring for a creature totally unable to meet his own basic needs.

No. I am cool and dispassionate about the whole experience. Please ask me another inane question that I am required to answer with an energy I haven't felt in weeks and actually shows nothing of my true feelings. I am happy to take time out of my day to answer you.

PS To any of you who are now saying to yourselves, "She's a little uppity. What are we supposed to ask/comment on then???". I say- I don't know how to talk to those crazy pregnant ladies! You're on your own!

Do you ever... and Belly Pics!!!

Dear Friends and Family,

Do you ever see me and think:

"Holy Hannah! Look at her- she's massive! Is she supposed to look like that? I think something's wrong...the parasite is taking over!!! Quick- get it out of there before her abdomen explodes like a zit!!!" ???

I do.

And now some belly pics:

Nate made fun of this one cause he said I keep lifting my head weird- it's to avoid the dreaded pregnancy double chin!!! He doesn't understand.
I know the power socket looks stupid but it was the best lighting in the house...
Close up! The chubby fingers are especially attractive.
These next ones were supposed to be a compare/contrast with this picture from my honeymoon:
You'll have notice my complete lack of a bum. I thought it would be fun to see the thing now taking over my backside. But you can't really tell!!!
I even tried holding my skirt against it
That just looks stupid. It's so tragic the pictures don't capture the fact my arse is sticking out farther than ever in my life. I'm sorry you are missing it.

Moving on...

The view from the top (surprisingly hard to take picture. required a tall husband, which luckily I have). Sorry for the semi-cleavage. It never really goes away now.
If you look close you can barely see a toe peeking out. Hey little buddy...haven't seen you in a while!
And last, but not least, the ankle. See that spot where a bone used to poke out very visibly...just flesh/retained water there now!
Hope that made your day!

Pregnancy Milestones IV

They keep coming...

1. I've reached an all-time high of needing to get up 4 times during a single night to pee. Thinking of investing in a bed pan.
2. Bought a birthing ball.

3. People have stopped looking nervous when they ask when I'm due (it's pretty obvious it's getting close and I really am pregnant). Also, after I've told them, have started letting me know how close that is, as if I was unaware...

4. Convinced my sister to give me the parking pass she paid for so I didn't have to walk.
5. Nate has been relieved of all late-night/over night Scout duties just in case I go into labor in the middle of the night- he has to be there!

6. Set up my tour of the hospital.

7. Tried to get by a man talking, to get to the restroom in a restaurant. He ignored my several polite "excuse me's". Finally I just pushed past and when he looked down and saw my pregnant belly was touching him he jumped back horrified. Not sure if he felt guilty or has a fear of pregnant women but it was awesome!
8. That's what my belly button looks like (ps do you know how hard it is to take a picture of your own belly button??? also I'm counting this as a requested 'belly picture').

9. Had my first Braxton Hicks contractions. About 4 in an hour at the end of work and while I was getting to my car. The next day, while walking to my car not experiencing contractions, I was amazed at what a short, easy walk it was.

10. Got my first tiny stretch marks on my belly. I knew I was going to get some (they're hereditary and I already had some from getting boobs in 8th grade). It was a relief to just get them showing up over with (ps they're on the bottom of my belly so I can't actually see them but Nate can).
11. Asked Nate to sweep under the kitchen table for me since I was having trouble reaching under there and it's too heavy to move. He chose to finish the chore he was working on first. He returned to find under the table already swept out and me in tears. Possibly nesting...

12. Also, Nate is one of those people who likes the alarm to go off 6 times before he actually gets out of bed. A couple days ago as soon as the first alarm went off it seemed completely necessary and rational for my to get up and do the dishes at 5 am.
13. People are actually buying plane tickets to come out and see Peanut!

PS While filling up my tank of gas this morning Nate got me pink grapefruit juice to drink. Nothing has happened so far but we'll wait and see if the curse continues...

Dirty Motherhood Secret and Notes

Here goes- prepare to judge me...
I don't know which part of my baby is which. There is a hard/large part on the upper right side of my abdomen. I assume it's either a head, back or bum. The limb-type things that are constantly hitting the mid left side of my body are most likely arms/fists/elbows/knees/feet. I just don't know. I am not sure if my baby is upside down or not. If I let you feel my baby and you ask what it is I will most likely tell you something I made up in my head that very minute. "Oh that's his right elbow. I'm a good mom so I can tell". I expect this is not the last time I will experience a slight feeling of inadequacy.

Other notes:
1. Already posted on facebook but for those of you who don't subscribe...I think my cat is an assassin hired to kill me and make it look like an accident. She has been crazy about winding around my legs while I'm walking lately. Considering I can barely see my feet while walking and have a little bit of a balance problem at the moment, this has become a serious issue.

2. Found this blog. Have almost started crying at work while reading it. Start here.
3. Tired of hearing about health care stuff and town meeting drama. Willing to vote for anything that results in a death panel I can be on to rid the nation of dead weight people I personally don't like or care about.

4. Realizing I still haven't legally changed my name to Mitchell since it means I have to order a birth certificate from California and last time we tried to order anything from the DMV there we lost over $300 in a cashier's check they never found and no one would let us cancel. Wonder if Peanut will ever notice or care that his birth certificate reads like that of your average bastard (ps haven't all of you wanted an excuse to use the word bastard on your blog???).
5. Had my last normal meeting with my cub scouts for this year. Next week is the big combined pack meeting and then they move up to become Bears. We played Ticket to Ride. Sad but excited for them.

6. How many of you can still do this math? Just wondering...