Dear New Bagel Place,

Even though I love Panera with a passion that should really be reserved only for people, I decide to give you a chance. I set aside money from my food budget (yes set aside money!) to buy your ‘Bakers Dozen and 2 Cream Cheese’ deal. I try to go by twice but you are only open 6am to 3pm. This is difficult to do on my work schedule but I am determined to welcome you to the neighborhood.

Wednesday morning I rearrange my morning schedule so I am at your bagel shop right after 7am. I start work at 730 but it’s only 3 blocks away. I stand in a short-ish line and then order my baker’s dozen deal, a croissant sandwich breakfast sandwich (pregnant woman treat) and an orange juice. I am slightly sad that your OJ is from concentrate but every place in OK does that so I move on. You also do not have asiago cheese bagels, which are my favorite, but I am willing to try new things.

The young girl taking my order appears new and confused. I am gentle and speak slowly and give her plenty of time to get everything down. I think about asking to see what she wrote to make sure it’s correct but it seems rude. She gives me my total- $16. This is not correct. The Baker’s deal is $16 by itself. I tell her I think it’s supposed to be more than that. She is very confused. Boss Lady comes over. She seems stressed. She tells Confused Young Coed what she did wrong and rings up the order. I’m pretty sure they’re still low a dollar or so but decide not to stress anyone else out.

I then sit in your store 35 minutes. Yes 35 minutes! You see, instead of having the cashier girl grab the bakers dozen deals, which several people are ordering, at the time of purchase- thus insuring both accuracy and speed- you have it all written on a ticket which is then filled quite a bit later by the same people doing the breakfast sandwiches. You also have the cream cheese containers filled as they are ordered. It involves using a hard spatula to fill a container with cold cream cheese while people are waiting for their orders. This seems ineffective to me. Why not fill them before?

People are standing all around waiting patiently. You call Brandy. I get excited and get my bag. I look in and it is obvious this is not my order. I hand it back and another Brandy (who ordered after me) takes her meal and goes.

I wait 10 more minutes. Boss Lady hands me my meal and Baker’s Dozen box and apologizes for how long it has taken. I am gracious and friendly in assuring her I am not irritated. I look in the bag. My croissant sandwich for some reason is made on a cinnamon raisin bagel. I do NOT eat raisins and let you know politely that my sandwich was supposed to be croissant. Boss Lady seem both apologetic and irritated. She blames Confused Young Coed. My sandwich is made (taking an additional 5 minutes).

I leave, getting to work almost a half hour late. I leave the bagels in the car and take the cream cheese in with me to put in the work fridge.

That evening I get home and open my bagel box. I start sorting bagels to freeze. I have 2 raisin bagels in my box.

I decide to return them the next day and ask for them to be replaced- neither Nate or I will eat them and by this point I am slightly irritated.

The next day I cannot get out of the house in time to make a trip I have to assume will take more than 5 minutes. Friday morning I come in with my bagels and politely explain what happened and ask to have my bagels replaced. I hand Different Young Coed the dead grape bagels in a eco ziplock bag. Different Young Coed is friendly but says she’ll have to check. She brings over Boss Lady. Boss Lady tells me (in an 'I'm doing you a favor voice), “I’ll let it happen this time. Next time you really need to bring them back the next day.”

Boss Lady has wiped away all my patience and good cheer in an instant. I inform her I could not make it in yesterday. She hands me my bagels. I am at work before I realize she has given me 4 bagels instead of 2 but am sure it was not out of politeness but lack of paying attention to what I was asking for.

New Bagel Place, I tell you this story because I will not be back. I was willing to overlook a bad morning. I even apologized to you in my mind for bringing my bad mojo to your store. No longer! I will return to Panera where I have always been treated extremely well, including the time I went in with my ASL class and had to order without talking. I will not be overly positive if people ask about you.

…Welcome to the neighborhood.