Top 5 Ways (this past week) I Am A Questionable Mother

5. Have started using my yoga mat as a place to let Peanut feed himself. He has started insisting on feeding himself and I am not willing to clean my old school, needs to be resealed (or sealed to begin with?) hardwood floor that often. I sit him down with his breakfast... a bowl of oatmeal, or cereal or (this is a memorable one) 5 frosted mini wheats + 3 baby carrots + one strawberry and let him go to town. Then I put him in his morning bath (yes he has 2 a day) and let the dogs in to lick up the yoga mat. Should that be a different entry? Using your dogs as an honest part of your clean up routine? Oh no, that's on the Top 5 Ways I'm A Bad Housekeeper list.

4. Have given up on the 'Don't eat dog/cat food' issue. It was my red button, makes me so irritated I could demolish a building issue. I have admitted defeat. "Fine, Peanut! You want to fill up on dog or cat food? Go ahead! See if I care! But I'm telling you kisses on the mouth from this mom are going to diminish significantly"

3. Give my child lemonade. Apparently it's worse than soda on your kids teeth because of the citric acid plus sugar. Just kidding, I just only had 4 blaring example of inept mothering this week but a Top 4 list is stupid.

2. Have started insisting Peanut spends time outside in the backyard without me. What? 17 months old is too young? Don't worry, he has 3 dogs (the smallest 3 times his weight) out there who alternately knock him down and lick his face, thus knocking him down, to watch him. Also we have one of those dog water, hooks onto the spigot, looks like a hamster water things out there and I've totally caught him using it so I know he always has access to liquid refreshment.

And the Number 1 Way I Am A Questionable Mother...(try it in story form)

1. Let's say L has put on her calendar that Friday she will get out of the house (without using the car) with her fussy baby, NO MATTER WHAT. Living in a town with no sidewalks (ok there might be some but they're definitely not by her house) taking the regular stroller is quite a pain. But wait...we have a bike trailer that, with the addition of one wheel, turns into a jogging type stroller (bigger wheels= easier on rough streets).

Except one thing...L can't find that one wheel. One grumpy phone call to husband later, tire still not found and L is close to losing her mind. Why? Well, the road from normal L to losing-her-mind-L is not a long one. So she decides to just take Ox's bike with said trailer attached.

Problems with this? First, Ox's bike was a special buy made to fit Ox. It even says the word "Giant" on it. Even with the seat all the way down L can't reach the pedal at it's down position.

Second, L honestly hasn't ridden a bike farther than 10 feet since elementary school. This is no joke. Not a huge fan of bike riding (seriously, all these years later and they can't figure out a more comfortable seat?) L has avoided biking most of her life. When is a good time to rekindle your interest in something and try it anew? Well, it's definitely not when you will be riding on the street, pulling your baby behind you, with his life in your hands (or just dependent on feet that can reach the ground without laying the bike over sideways).

Does L contemplate all this? Not really. So she starts on her bike ride. It's easier than she thought, besides the part where you have to give it an extra push at the 90 degree point in rotation so the other pedal comes around to where you can reach it. L is starting to feel pretty good about her self and this idea. Then comes the slight incline, and the railroad tracks. This is more aerobic activity than L has done in a while. Also these seats really are uncomfortable.

Ahh here it comes...the stop sign. L is aware legally she should stop but since she can't get off the bike without holding onto something or kindof dropping the bike sideways and jumping off she decides to skip it. Her pulse accelerates contemplating a oncoming car or even a cop but luckily she lives in a podunk town with not many people cruising around in the early afternoon. A not long time later L arrives at the park with Peanut, who seems unaware his life has just been gambled on. A phone call and two short trial trips later, L and Peanut resign themselves to waiting at the park for Ox to get off work and pick them up.

 


And there you go. Has my almost year and a half of motherhood imbued me with a maternal instinct and a lot more common sense? Not really. I don't want to scare you not-yet-parent types but parenthood only seems to increase your ability to be stupid and/or questionable. Should my Peanut survive to adulthood you may all remind him what a close call it was.

It's Likely I'm Ridiculous

Every morning that Nate doesn't have to be at work before me he makes me breakfast (I know isn't that cute?). I'm not saying we do anything fancy- breakfast is usually cold cereal in an Eskimo Joe's cup that I can eat while driving. Well this morning I wasn't feeling up to cereal (I didn't grow up a cold cereal fan and it's still a little weird to me) so I asked Nate to make me something different. He decided to make egg on toast. I also got a cup of Ruby Red Grapefruit juice. I know you're saying, "grapefruit juice???? after the hallway incident???" but honestly it was magnificently delicious.

So there I am eating my egg on toast and drinking my grapefruit juice on my way to work when it happens- the yolk leaks all over my shirt and dress. Mind you I am wearing this shirt and dress because I have no other clean clothes that fit my fetus-carrying body. I start to get frustrated. I contemplate turning around and going home to change only to remember two things: 1. I have no other clean clothes that fit; 2. Of the two other people who work in my area one was home sick yesterday and I'm not sure she'll be in today and the other has an early morning meeting so no one else will be in my area of work.

I call Nate and he encourages me to continue onto work and just clean up when I get there. So I continue on.

Then I have to slow rapidly. There are two puppies playing on the highway. One I have seen before (and delivered him back to his home) the other is a little pit bull puppy, probably between 12 and 16 weeks old, I have not seen before. They are playing in the road and they almost get hit multiple times. I get out hoping they will come to me. They do- in fact they love me but I can't seem to get both in my car. I can get one in but when I try to put the other in, the first one gets out. They are both very loving and wet and stinky.

Finally I get the little one in my car and convince the slightly older one to follow me to the house/trailer I believe is theirs. I knock several times but no one is home. I contemplate several options but it's difficult- where I am out in the country there is no dog catcher. Neither close town will take them at their dog catchers. Finally I decide to try and shut the farm gate on these people's driveway hoping it will encourage the puppies to stay in the yard. I do this but while it is obvious they don't close this gate often, it is also obvious the puppies can get through it if they want. However they do seem inclined to stay around the house at least for the moment so I leave them- very torn about what, if anything, I've accomplished.

And so once again I continue onto work. I call my boss to let her know I'll be late. When I get to work I go into the downstairs bathroom to clean up. I am now covered in egg and dog hair, wet, and stinking of wet puppy. Once again I end up standing at the bathroom mirror with my shirt off, trying to wash it in the sink. An older lady comes in. She looks a little concerned they let crazies like me in the building.

I finish washing up the best I can. Now I am wet and smell of dirty puppy and public restroom soap. And I go to work to sit at my desk and write this all down.

What is the moral you ask????

Is it 'get up earlier and eat at home'?
'Stop trying to rescue the puppies of the world; you're not actually making a difference'?
"Sometimes God lets crazy things happen to you to see if you still have a sense of humor'?

NO. I believe it is, 'If L drinks grapefruit juice in the morning she will end up with her top off in the bathroom'.

I hope you've all learned your lesson.

Reasons NOT to get a Sunburn While Pregnant

I'd like to consider this post educational...
Let's start with a quiz.

1. What does SPF Mean?

2. What are the numbers measuring?

3. How do you know which number/how much/how often to apply?

4. What does sunblock actually block?

Answers (from wisegeek):

1. SPF is an acronym for Sun Protection Factor.
2. The number you see associated with SPF represents the length of time you can stay out in the sun without burning, multiplied by the corresponding number. So a person who would normally start to burn in 10 minutes, could theoretically have 150 minutes of sun protection with a sunscreen that has an SPF of 15.
3. Regardless of SPF number, testing of sunscreen does not really correspond to the amount of time you can stay out in the sun without burning because sweating, clothing rubbing against the skin, and water sports will all wear the sunscreen off. Tests also use much more sunscreen than do most people, so SPF number results can be inaccurate. Usually, an SPF 15 rated sunscreen will give your about an hour of protection before you should reapply sunscreen. This, of course, varies from person to person. It also helps to wear protective clothing, hats and sunglasses.
4. SPF number only relates to ultraviolet B (UVB) protection. Ultraviolet A (UVA) protection is not measured through SPF numbers, and until recently, frequently was not available in sunscreens. UVB rays are more potent, quicker to produce sunburn, and have been linked to skin cancer. UVA is associated with aging of the skin, and along with UVB exposure, may increase risk or facilitate skin cancer. UVA though milder, is still not safe.
This past weekend Nate, Amber, Miguel and I went to the Lake with all the dogs. We were only there 3 hours and I did apply sunscreen. Yet I am so toasty! Amber got burned, Nate got a little burned on his face/neck (he was wearing a shirt the whole time). Even Miguel got burned and he's Mexican! Apparently the UV Radiation for Saturday in our area was "extreme".
Top 5 Reasons Pregnant Women Should Not Get Sunburned:

5. We're already dehydrated. Most pregnant women are dehydrated (even more so than the average person). This is due to extra usage of water and the fact that while we try to drink a lot it's hard to make yourself when you're already peeing every 5 minutes. (PS All this while our little gummy bears are living it up in a fleshy water world)

4. Our skin is weird. Pregnant women have crazy hormones running through their bodies that affect their skin. They can get acne or have their skin clear up better than ever and they can be more sensitive to the sun.

3. We're already uncomfortable. Already we're telling our husbands about our aches and pains and stretching places. Now all of that is compounded by burning flesh.

2. We can only sleep on our sides. Now overall this hasn't been a problem for me. I was already a side-sleeper so this wasn't one of the pregnancy things that bothered me. However, when your shoulders are burnt to a crisp sleeping on your side is an entire night of flipping over and making sad pain noises (hopefully loud enough to keep your husband up so you don't have to suffer alone).

1. Big + White =Big + Brown =
Big + Red = or

If I Have to See It...You All Have to See It

Hoss was neutered yesterday (don't worry he's fine, if a bit sore). It needed to be done anyway and since we're watching my Dad's dog Titus for now (who's already neutered) and boy dogs are a lot less territorial once they've been neutered we went for it. Nate was a little uncomfortable with the whole thing. Here is his tribute to the sad event. If you had any hand in raising Nate now is the time to be a little embarrassed.

PS Click on the picture to see the words better.

ox gets the camera again...

First let me show you the last pic I took with the camera...

OSU on my way to work one morning. Beautiful.

Now here's what happens when Nate gets ahold of it...

yes this is our dogs on the couch- where they're not really supposed to be but it was so ugly to begin with I'm really not that worried.

Baby Hoss begging to be petted.

This is after I went to bed, by the way

My sweet Jesse

Hmmm...

Yep that's what he was focusing on...Doggy Porn!

Cali

This Sunday our dog Cali died.

She had learned to climb first our 6 foot chain link fence and then the 8 foot wooden fence. So Nate had her on a chain staked into the ground. The chain was also attached to the kiddie pool they get water from outside. Cali got her stake out of the ground and drug the pool over to the fence to jump over it. The chain was too short or got caught and she broke her neck.

I honestly don't know how to write about this. It is breaking my heart.

Nate got Cali for me the Christmas we were engaged. He picked her out at the animal shelter and took her on the airplane with him out to California, where we were spending Christmas with my family. She was such a cute puppy, only 3 months old. My dad has two big dogs: Titus, a black lab mix and Max a HUGE German shepherd. They tried to boss Cali the whole time and we had to watch to make sure Max wasn't going to assert his dominance too forcefully. However one of the last days we were there Cali got up on the couch (a no-no) and got into the coffee my Uncle Blake had left out. She then tried to take on Max. She was probably 1/6th his size. Since then she always thought she was a big dog that could take on anyone.

Leaving California we drove back to Oklahoma, caravaning with my sister Amber. We got caught in a huge snow storm. One night we were on the freeway all night stuck in the traffic caused by the weather closing the highway. Cali was great. She had the most comfortable seat in the car (the whole back seat) and never made a mess or anything. The next night when we finally got to a hotel room (the last place available) I was scared they wouldn't allow animals so we tried to sneak Cali in. I wrapped her all up in a blanket and carried her to our room through the back door. At that moment the office manager decided to walk back there and Cali barked at him. I automatically said 'excuse me' as if I had sneezed or something. So funny! He of course knew and they just called to tell us they were adding the animal deposit onto our bill. I should have just asked to begin with.

After we were back in Oklahoma there was 3 months before Nate and I got married. Those were hard nights. I was house-sitting so it was a strange place and Nate had to leave every night to go back to his parent's house. Cali slept with me every night keeping me warm (something was wrong with their heater) and safe.

Through the next several months 4 more dogs came into ours lives for us to care for. Cali was always the boss.

Last autumn Cali was in heat and while she couldn't get out of the yard she got some other dog to sneak in. She got pregnant and had 10 puppies while we were visiting Nate's sister, Laura. She was such a good mommy. She cared for all 10 and trusted us moving her and them 2 days after they were born into the car for a 4 hour drive back home. She often seemed exhausted but all her puppies were healthy and happy. We kept one of her puppies, Hoss, which I am now very grateful for.

Cali was beautiful. People at the dog park would always comment about her beautiful reddish coat. She had the most muscular thighs. She was a big baby and always wanted to be a lap dog- even after she got up to 65 lbs. She just wanted to be snuggled down next to you all the time. She loved to run and play and if you threw her in the water she would run around like a crazy dog for several minutes after.

She was our baby since we don't have kids. I miss her so much. I don't know exactly what I believe about animals after death but I know she's happy somewhere and it's only me mourning because I don't get to see her. I love her.

PS In place of Favorite Author Fridays this week I'll just encourage you to read Marley & Me by John Grogan

Fences, Plates and My Poor Snuggly

So on Saturday we helped our friends Spencer and Laura

tear down their fence (they were the friends who watched all 4 of our dogs at their house while we were gone for Thanksgiving last year so they could ask me for a kidney and I'd be happy to give it to them). Anyway, we'd only been there a few minutes when Nate was trying to jiggle a post we had to take out and it broke off. He went flying and hit a metal post in their neighbor's yard. He has this to show for it.

I didn't get any bruises or even a sunburn but it's been so long since I did any sustained physical labor I went home and slept for like 4 hours. It was sooo nice.

Right after the fence project Nate and I went to see the new Hulk movie. I don't know what to say about it except that I thought it was just ok but Nate liked it so I guess it was worth it.

I also just harvested our fist yellow squash out of out garden. YEA!!!!


Ok and now here is really the best story from the last couple of days...

Several weeks ago Nate got us a bread maker off of freecycle.org. At school I used to make my own bread and rolls pretty often but with school and work and the lack of kneading space in my kitchen I hadn't been making any for Nate so he decided while bread maker bread isn't quite as good as homemade bread it is better than store bought bread.

So the day before yesterday Nate made bread. He added all the ingredients and it ran through the whole cycle and then finally yesterday we got around to actually trying to eat it. We were watching a movie in the living room and Nate grabbed the bread maker pan to get out the bread. The problem is this:

See that weird blade thing in the bottom? that's what stirs/kneads the bread but it also makes it very difficult to get bread out. the baked bread sticks to that blade and so you spend a lot of time pulling and thumping and being very irritated trying to get your bread out. Anyway so Nate struggled with it for several minutes and finally got it out. He set it down on a plate on the couch. He was really excited to have an egg salad sandwich on his super yummy bread. But...it was time to switch the laundry at his parent's house (yes we still do laundry at his folks one day I will have the amazing ability to do laundry in my own home but that day has not come yet). He asked me to make the egg salad out of the eggs he had just boiled and have it ready for him when he got back.

I made the egg salad, put it in the fridge and then went to take a bath. A while later I heard Nate pull up and the dogs bark because they're glad he's home. I hear Nate open the door. I can hear the dogs pretty loud so I figure Nate decided to let them in. But then I hear the yelling...

Turns out Nate did not let the dogs in. They got excited and pushed open the back door that we hadn't completely closed. Cali ran in to her favorite spot by the love seat and lo and behold there was a treat just for her - a whole loaf of bread. I mean it had to be for her because human food is usually on the table. So she grabbed it (before the other dogs could) and ran for the back door. Nate saw her and was way mad. He was so sad he lost his bread and his sandwiches he was looking forward to. He actually got the bread from her but wasn't going to eat it now. Here's a pic of what was left for my poor snuggly.

I of course thought it was pretty funny but don't tell Nate. :)

Now for fun a cute, blurry pic of one of the kittens.

They are just started to get playful and wrassle with each other. I love it!

My Garden and Our Not-So-Smart Puppies

Ok so I've been meaning to post about my garden (because I'm crazy proud) but it's not weeded so I'm too embarrassed to put up pics. But I really need to because it's amazing! Things are growing that I planted. We've been harvesting our own spinach for a while but I think it's being close to being done (it's a cold-weather plant) and we just started getting out first sugar-snap peas. We've got blossoms on our tomato plants and our squashes. And our melons and corn are looking really good. I love it! *extra note- Nate felt I left him out of the garden info. He did help plant and often does the watering* Here's the one pic I have which Nate took (I'll give you a hint he was not focused on the garden...).

Plus I saw this cute little spider carrying around an egg sac the other day. Yea for spiders that eat the bugs around here!

And just for fun here are my not very smart dogs. This is Hoss wanting to get inside (even though he knows if the baby gate is up he's not allowed) and getting his head stuck. So funny...

Dogs Dogs Everywhere!

So we have a lot of animals- especially a lot of dogs. In fact we have 5. We love them all but they can be a little overwhelming. One of them, Mercy, is actually going to live with Nate's cousin, Rebecca, this summer. We are excited for her and sad to lose her but I think she'll love being up in Missouri with all Rebecca's kids. Anyway let's introduce you to them all:

Cali

Cali is the only dog we got 'on purpose'. Before we got married Cali was my Christmas present from Nate and became (very purposefully) our first child. He flew out to California to meet my Dad and spend Christmas with my family and he brought her. We then drove her back from California to Oklahoma, even getting caught in a snow storm in New Mexico in the middle of the trip. This last winter she became a hussy and lured a neighborhood dog into our yard and ended up 'with puppy'. She had 10 living puppies at Nate's sister's house in Durant (yet another road trip) and has since, thankfully, been spayed. This is my favorite picture of her with her puppies. She was a good mama but you can tell it was not really her cup of tea. She is very jealous and demanding but she is an oldest child so...

Daisy

When Cali had been with us a couple of months we found Daisy on the highway. She literally almost got hit 3 times in the time it took us to pull over and get to her. She looked to be about Cali's age and size and so we kept her as a friend for Cali. She is an amazing dog! As you can see she looks like a long-haired Roti and she is amazingly soft. She is really good with children, way better than most of our dogs. She is patient and soft with them, and she doesn't jump up or knock them over- even really small kids. She has been a great companion for Cali, whose behavioral problems went way down as soon as she had a friend to play with. I'd love to find her a home with more kids and less dogs then we have right now just so she could get the attention she deserves.

Marrock, Jesse & Mercy

Just a few weeks after we found Daisy (and thought we had our fill of dogs) we were driving to church on a dirt road and I thought I saw something as we passed over a riverbed. It was 3 tiny puppies, probably about 6-7 weeks old, who had been abandoned with a bag of dog food- as if they could now make it on their own, barely weaned. We stopped and picked them up. They were as different looking as could be. One was a little boy, who we named Marrock, who looked just like a tiny Rottweiler.

Jesse
One was a super tiny yellow dog, probably a lab mix; we called her Jesse. And one was a fluffy little thing that looked like a husky or something who we called Mercy. We tried to drop them at a vet 'til after church but they wouldn't take them. We tried the shelter but they wouldn't take them because we found them in the country. So we ended up with them. We wanted to find good homes for them and almost did for one (I'll tell that story in a minute) but I honestly didn't try very hard- they were so cute.

Marrock died very soon after we moved into our new house. He wrapped his chain around the shade cover we had set up for the dogs in the back yard and pulled it down on himself. It was awful. He was Nate's favorite and he was just super sweet and soft. We cried like crazy. We didn't even have him long enough to have a picture of him. He's now buried under our pear tree.

Mercy

And these are our little puppies all grown up. It's amazing. They were both so little when we got them and Jesse had such bad worms she couldn't gain any weight. Mercy was hit by a car the night before someone was coming to adopt her. She had to have pins in her thigh and we were worried about permanent damage. But both of them are fine. Jesse still has a little of what we call "Beaten Dog Syndrome". She doesn't like people getting near her face. She is always having to be the deer in the 'bring down the prey game the big dogs want to play. She is so sweet though and definitely a mama's girl. She could just lay with me for hours. Mercy is our little crazy. She loves to play and run a be rubbed and petted. She even plays with Hoss, which seems to be 'below' most of the big dogs right now. She is going to love living with Rebecca and her kids!

And last, our only boy...

Hoss

We Cali had the puppies Nate let me know, almost from the very beginning, that he wanted to keep Hoss. He named him first. He was the biggest. He was one of the only boys and I think he reminded Nate a little of his lost Marrock. He is the spoiled baby boy. He is always trying to tag along with the big dogs and wants to be given lots of loves and kisses and pets. He is at least 3 times the size of the other puppies from his litter and looks to get even bigger than Cali or Daisy (who are each almost 70 lbs.). We love him but he is especially Nate's little guy. He loves to ride in the car, as do all our dogs. He is adorable and quite likely to be spoiled rotten.

So there you go. We have become a doggie foster home, keeping those who seemed to fall into our hands and honestly trying to find not just good but great homes for those we can. If someone wanted any of our dogs besides Cali and Hoss and could promise them an equal or better lifestyle than we can, we would be happy to give them away but we can't bring ourselves to take these dogs we have loved so much and give them over to anyone we can't be sure would love and care for them in the manner to which they are accustomed. And honestly I'm ok being the crazy dog lady because I love them each.