Hot and Fat

Ok so I feel like I've been ranting a lot lately and I swear it's less out of anger and more out of laziness- I can't get up the energy to write unless I'm really irritated. So if you're tired of my whing-iness feel free to skip this post, I won't be offended...

I am all about people not judging so much on looks. As you can tell from my previous entries I don't think anyone but your doctor, and possibly a very brave spouse, should have anything to say about your weight ever.

I grew up with a naturally skinny mom who made tons of comments about my weight and how she wishes I had gotten her skinny body type. I remember a time when my friend's step-dad made some comment about me being fat and when I told him to shut up my mom took his side and told me I couldn't see my friend again until I apologized to him (this was the first big example of my stubbornness being way greater than my mom ever expected- I never did apologize to him and my friend and I are still very much friends). I remember an aunt sending me a letter my first year of college telling me she had seen recent pictures and to watch out, because I was getting really fat.

Guess what...none of these comments ever made a difference on my weight. I definitely felt worse about myself but I didn't get skinnier. The skinniest I've ever been was when I worked hard to eat good food because I liked it and I found exercising I enjoyed. I didn't weigh myself and I ignored every comment made to me about weight or my looks- even by well-meaning friends/family. I was at my healthiest and happiest.

Note to well-meaning friends/family: You're don't help. Fat people know they're fat. There's a reason they're not skinny. It could be laziness or glandular or snacking or hate of exercise etc but they know.

However to get on with my hypocrisy I share the following:

There's an older lady at work I really struggle with. She talks loudly and constantly. She has to 'know' everyone like those people in LA who always 'know' this or that D-list star. And I'm constantly having to listen to totally inane stories about her kids's finances, her husband leaving her several years ago and then coming back, the food she ate, her 2nd job work schedule etc. She drives me crazy!

The other thing she constantly complains about is the heat in the office. The lady behind me has a space heater under her desk year-round, all the other women wear thick sweaters and I wear a sweater daily and have a blanket on my legs. And yet she complains about how hot she is. Guess why she's hot??? Because she's fat. She has plenty of insulation to keep her warm while the rest of the office is freezing.

That is my hypocrisy. Every time I'm wrapped up (while pregnant mind you) in a blanket and sweater at my desk and she complains about being hot I want to tell her to either shut up or lose some weight.

Now I know I'm a bad person and now you know I'm a bad person but somehow I feel better.