Gestational Diabetes - the controversy, the torture...

(this post is for Laura D)

OK so maybe that title's a little extreme but after getting to a point in my pregnancy where pretty much everyone is nice to me the gestational diabetes test was like getting yelled at by the camp counselor I thought liked me best.
The reason for the test is to see if you have (a little obvious here) gestational diabetes. This is important because gestational diabetes causes really big babies (there can be other issues but this is the main one). The problem is that there are almost no symptoms of gestational diabetes until you try to birth a huge baby. Most women do not get an ultrasound every visit (most insurance companies in OK will only pay for 2 unless there is significant need), so the size of the baby is known in a round-about way but not specifically. So...the need to test for gestational diabetes with an actual blood test and then adjust your habits if you have it.
Onto the tests. The first test is the One Hour Test. This test requires you to fast for 12 hours. This may not seem like a big deal but at this point in pregnancy I was still vomiting if I got too hungry. Super enjoyable. So you fast for 12 hours and then wake up early (if you've been smart and got the first appt. of the day) and drink a bottle of a sugar syrup that would be too sweet for most 6 year olds. It's like a whole packet of orange kool-aid with twice the sugar in 6 oz. of water. Remember again, the nausea. You may not throw this up!!! So you drink this, on an empty stomach (within an hour) and then rush to your doctors because at exactly 1 hour after finished it you have to have the blood work done. They draw blood and you pray with all your heart that you will pass with flying colors. Because if you fail you get the Four Hour Test.
Now the problem with the words pass and fail being used to describe the One Hour Test is that it's as if you were taking a course and the professor decided that he really wanted everyone to understand the material so instead of A-D meaning pass and F meaning fail anyone who gets below an 85% will automatically be 'failed' so he can retest most accurately. Only 1/3 of women who 'fail' the One Hour Test actually have gestational diabetes. The rest of us are caught having gotten an 80% on the test but are forced to now take a Four Hour Comprehensive final to be sure we weren't really deserving an F.
I assume most doctor's offices call to let you know the news that you have failed the test. I got "that nurse". I love my doctor and the nurse I normally work with and the lady I pay stuff to but there is one nurse at that office I don't like, and she is the one to call me. She does not sound sympathetic or reassuring. She is dry and provides very little info. She sets up the appointment with the hospital as if she is doing me some huge favor. Even though I KNOW all about the test and how I'm probably still fine there is a feeling of failure. Something is going to be wrong with my baby. I am scared and upset. I call Nate and cry. A few less-emotional days later I am calmer.
Onto the Four Hour Test...

You again fast for 12 hours. You then show up to the doctor''s office (or hospital outpatient area). You wait. They take your blood (#1). You go back and sit down. An old lady in a wheelchair stares blankly through you. You wait 30 minutes, they rip of the tape they put over the cotton ball on your arm. You are allergic to it and already have a rash. They take your blood again (#2). They then give you the dreaded syrup to drink. This time it tasted like boiled-down, flat coke. You are not allowed to vomit. You must drink the whole thing in 5 minutes. You go back to the lady at the desk, she writes down your time. You go back to a different seat because old people have stolen yours. You wait 30 minutes. They take your blood (#3). They almost forget to use the wrap instead of the tape and you have to physically assault the nurse to stop her. You fear for your next blood draw. You go to the lobby and are forced to listen to some sort of Good Morning America Show. You wait 30 minutes. They take your blood (#4). The nurse remembers the wrap but is possibly using a dirty needle to get back at you. You wonder if you can catch 'old person'. You will now wait an hour. You decide this is a good time to try and sleep in your car. You wake up sweaty and with your hair plastered to the side of your head- you no longer care. They take your blood (#5). By this time even I, who have the veins of a champion am getting uncomfortable. When she pulls out the butterfly needle which I have NEVER had to use before so she can get some tiny vein on the outside of my elbow, I put my foot down and make her move to the other arm. This time hurts. You're not sure if it's on purpose or not. Now you wait another hour. Your fetus starts kicking you emphatically as if to remind you he hasn't eaten. You wonder if you really want kids. You promise to force your husband to fast for 48 hours and then drink straight snow cone syrup while you punch him in the gut so he has some inkling of how you feel. They take your blood (#6). The nurse does not help you pick up your bag and you wonder if she will call for help if you pass out. They let you go home.
I went straight to Qdoba, never mind that I was late for work already. Remember it's been months since I've gone more than 6-8 hours without food. I go to work, try to drink lots of water and wait for my results.
The results come in. I passed.

Strangely, I am not elated. I still feel sick, I have wasted a half day of leave time and I now have had my first real, non-imagined proof that something could be wrong with my baby at this stage in pregnancy. This is the torture of the Gestational Diabetes test.
PS I have heard some places allow the eating of a large candy bar in place of the dreaded syrup. I refuse to believe this could be allowed when I was given liquid pixie sticks- I will ignore all lies about this.