To Slaves Everywhere...

I'd like to share 2 stories:
1. A couple Saturdays ago I went on an Ornithology field trip. I talked Nate into going with me (& carrying my stuff). Once there we ran into an acquaintance from my ASL 4 class who ended up hanging out with us. I used my fatness/pregnancy as an excuse to hike slower, rest more often and, in general, take it easy. Once the acquaintance found out I was preggo she and Nate traded off helping me up steep parts, helping me down steep parts, holding my stuff and overall acting as well-mannered servants. It was quite nice.
2. Last Friday on my way to my car I was walking with a friend from work. We were chatting and as we were getting to the parking lot she asked if I needed help. I was a little slow on the uptake and was looking confused when she said she guessed I was doing just fine. She explained she was wondering if she needed to help me down the 'stairs'- 2 very shallow cement steps.
It was at this point I realized I had made it. I had reached the point (especially in the dress I was wearing) where the shape of my stomach suggested pregnancy- not just fatness...I had reached the point where the world was filled with my slaves!!!
Now some of you will deny this but it is true- once you are visibly pregnant people will do almost anything for you. Before I was pregnant I can guarantee that if a pregnant stranger asked me to carry her groceries, paint her toenails, take care of her kid, or feed her anything- I would have done it. Why? BECAUSE SHE WAS PREGNANT! She was a sacred vessel and all I had in my stomach was Taco Bell (PS name that movie).
Anyway so now I have reached this point and all I can say is "BWA HA HA!!!" (evil villain laugh)
You are all my slaves (except those of you also visibly pregnant).
Be prepared to do my bidding!

If You Are In School...

please read this blog posting. Maureen Johnson cracks me up.

Another Kiss...

Amanda sent this to me. Do you find it more or less creepy than the x-ray one below?
PS Nate wanted you all to notice she's licking his bottom lip...Sexy!

Savage

Rereading "Savage", a short story by Kelly Armstrong that prequels her Women of the Otherworld series. It cracks me up...

"Before we left the motel, Jeremy had spent a lot of time making phone calls. Not that I understood what he was doing. For whatever reason, I had holes in my memory such that I’d know perfectly well what a car or money was for, but objects like telephones and toilets were unfathomable mysteries. So, at the time, it seemed to me that Jeremy was spending a lot of time with a piece of plastic pressed against his ear, talking to himself. Which was fine by me. We all have our eccentricities. Jeremy liked talking to plastic; I liked hunting and eating the rats that ventured into the motel room. Or, at least I did like hunting and eating the rats, until Jeremy caught me, and promptly kiboshed that hobby. Some of us are less tolerant of eccentricities than others."

It's true, some of us are just so intolerant!

Books, Art and Music

This past weekend I read a great children's book, The Mysterious Benedict Society, by Trenton Lee Stewart. I loved this book. It reminded me of the beginning books in the Series of Unfortunate Events series, before things got weird and started lacking direction. The children are not perfect but are extraordinary. The plot was fun and engaging. I really liked it.

Here's a synopsis from Books and Movies:

"Reynie Muldoon is an extremely bright orphan. He has been bored at his boarding school, and only the specialized education given to him by his tutor, Miss Perumal, has kept him challenged. When she sees an ad in the newspaper that reads, “ARE YOU A GIFTED CHILD LOOKING FOR SPECIAL OPPORTUNITIES?” she encourages him to attend the test. Reynie is chosen, along with three other students, for the special opportunity - but he has no idea what it is."

While reading about the author in the back of the book (and taking the test to see if I, too, was extraordinary) I came across the information about the illustrator. It was Carson Ellis who also does the illustrations for one of my favorite bands, The Decemberists. What a small world!!!

So in celebration of this I will post one of my favorite Decemberist songs and urge you to listen to it while reading The Mysterious Benedict Society.



PS The second book in the series is on its way out so watch for it!!!

Kisses!

Nate really liked this pic so I thought I'd post it. Pretty cool.

The Wonder Fruit

So yesterday I said to myself, I said, “L, this vomiting thing is getting ridiculous. You must stop. Pay attention to your body and decide on something you can eat tonight that will make it happy.” So I thought and decided that watermelon was the magic food that would make me better.

“Jim dear”, I said “I would like to eat watermelon tonight. Please make this happen.”

He said, “Yes, Darling”.

Honestly though, I really did decide watermelon was what I wanted so we went to the grocery store and got both a cut up quarter of watermelon and one of those baby whole watermelons.

Then we went to Ox’s parents to bring them some church-related things and I ate my whole baby watermelon there (the cut one was icky). Yes, the entire thing. Don’t judge me.

And I did magically feel better. I was even able to eat the crust of the pizza Jeanne had made. Yummy!

So now I wonder…I thought watermelon for pregnant women was a cliché. You know Lady and the Tramp, winter time, a fruit almost impossible to get in the winter = a tiny jab at how demanding and ridiculous pregnant women are.

However, now I believe. This morning I woke up feeling as good as I ever have pre-parasite.

Watermelon is the wonder fruit!

PS I will expect regular shipments of watermelon to start being delivered by my best and closest friends and family.

This was meant to be a real story...

but I never got around to writing it and Nate hasn't had time to compose it for me either. Maybe the picture will be enough. This happened last week and is reasonably to scale:
PS you know you're jealous of my powerpoint prowess.

PPS I vomited into the trash can by my desk as I was writing this post. My boss seems concerned.

Things That Make My Day Better...

even though yesterday I woke up, vomited in the toilet, flushed the toilet and it overflowed.

Then later while buying food for the cub scouts to learn to "cook outside" I vomited in the Walmart parking lot. The lady getting her kid into the car next to me was not impressed.

Also vomited this morning...I thought morning sickness was supposed to get better not worse at this point.

However, these things made me happy:

1. From Amazing Mae:

Friday, March 20, 2009

from dad's shirt to a little dress

How blasted cute is that thing?????

2. This is my new background on my NEW computer at work:

Oh Madi, you make my day better!

One Day I'll Have a Real Post...

but for now...

This is from Not Always Right.

What Would Jesus Itemize?

Retail | Lexington, KY, USA

(A customer is shopping for his church and his home in the same trip. He splits up the orders while talking with his wife. As I’m finishing the church order, running the credit card and having the gentleman sign, the wife notices an error was made.)

Wife: “Honey, you put the condoms on the church bill!”

Husband: “… we’ll scratch it off?”

Me: “Oh my.”

Wife: “Oh Jesus is going to hate us now! You can’t put condoms on the church bill, that’s like putting beer on the church account!”

(She continues to flip out, while I’m refunding the transaction and voiding off the condoms. The next customer in line is staring at the whole exchange.)

Next customer: “How in the h*** do you people stay sane?!”

Please don't let me put questionables on the primary budget receipt!!!

"Wrenching Sacrifice" - a beautiful quote

Ok so don't stop sending your pregnancy stories- I love them. They really lift my spirits and remind me that the craziest/hardest things on my mission are now my best mission stories. My vomit stories will one day just crack me up -without making me nauseous again ;).

However the real purpose of this post is stealing a quote from another site. My friend Laurel went to the Conference on Family Life at BYU just recently and listed some things that touched her. This was my favorite:

"Just as a mother's body may be permanently marked with the signs of pregnancy and childbirth, [the savior] said, 'I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands' (1 Nephi 21: 15-16). For both a mother and the Savior, those marks memorialize a wrenching sacrifice--the sacrifice of begetting life--for her, physical birth; for him, spiritual rebirth." by Bruce C. Hafen

As I am getting ready to receive my first real marks of sacrifice (besides the stretch marks on my boobs caused by going from a nothing to a c-cup in 8th grade) I found this quote really empowering. Whoo hoo for getting all stretched out!

Sickly Pregnant Woman

So yesterday I wasn't feeling so hot so I was sitting in the comfy chair watching ***dirty secret alert*** Roswell on DVD.

All of a sudden I smelled sour cream and had uncontrollable vomiting for several minutes, all over the blanket I was snuggling with. When it calmed down Nate took the blanket to be washed and I went to the bathroom to vomit some more and then brush my teeth.

Later that night I was talking to my sister and she said something about me being a "sickly pregnant person". I wondered if I was. I don't feel that I'm overly sickly. Morning sickness has been sporadic, for which I'm very grateful. I had some extreme tiredness early on but not for too long. I do have a cracked rib (or something) and bronchitis but that's hardly Peanut's fault.

I remember young women's leaders who were pregnant who couldn't wear any shoes but flip flops pretty early on because their legs/feet were so swollen, or who were on bed rest and couldn't lift their toddlers. I can still work and go to school etc.

I think what I need are some good old-fashioned pregnancy horror stories. Please share them with me. They can be yours or your friends or your moms etc.

And PLEASE don't feel the need to make it sound ok or fun, or to tell me in long sentences how it was all worth it. I know it's all worth it. I'm not complaining about being pregnant I just don't love some of the symptoms- and I don't think that's a huge deal.

So share...you know you want to.

PS Also not especially ready for labor stories - I've got a while.

Medieval Faire 2009

Well we spent all day Saturday at the Medieval Faire in Norman OK with Carlin, Aubrey, Baby Sam, Mitchell, Amber and Miguel. We occasionally ran into my other sister Wendy and her friend Paul(?) also. It was pretty fun. Sam who has lately had some stranger-danger, especially about Nate, was super friendly and willing to be carted around by anyone willing to cart him around. I'm pretty bad about taking pictures at things like this - I'd rather just have fun at the time. So here's all I got:

Pic #1 - Sam & his bottle...
While Sam was in a surprisingly good mood for someone begin carted around all day and missing 2 naps he did get fussy on occasion. Especially when we had the audacity to put him in the stroller instead of carrying him like the king he is. That is until Nate put his big medieval faire drink bottle in the stroller with him. He loved it. He sucked on it and hugged it and used it to prop himself up. Such fun!

Pic #2 - Sam the Knight
We found some little tiny swords and shields so of course we needed pictures. :)

Pics # 3 & 4 - The Boys found the Swords
Of course we had to spend ample time with the boys looking at swords. oh how fun... Nate found a sword that was almost 6 feet long. I can't even imagine how much it actually cost.

Pic #5 - The Ax Throw
Carlin, Nate and Miguel all tried the Ax Throw. The object was to chuck those weird ax-things at the shields on the wood trying to hit the small painted heart in the middle. Strength is needed but probably more important is releasing at the exact right time. Nate did hit the heart and was therefore 'Knighted'. He is very proud.